"If you have never experienced anything, what right do you have to assume that you are alive?"

So the date last night was great in my opinion. He picked me up and we went to a great sushi place for dinner. Lots of conversation and laughing. We went to play pool after that and he won 2 of the 3 games (I won one game fair and square - he definitely didn't let me win) and he drove me home - it took a bit longer than usual cos of the snow and the fact that he had to drive at 20 km/h. Nice goodnight kiss at the end and I had a great time.

Now today.

I'm second-guessing myself and thinking that I mis-read things, even though I technically don't think I did. No plans were made for a second date and I doubt I'll hear from him today, yet I've turned into a self-torture, second-guessing machine. I'm wondering whether I imagined the good time and whether he drove home thinking "well, thank goodness that's over cos I never want to see her again".

Arrrggghhh.

/end rant.

I am thinking that that was a good date :)

Okay, I have a date tonight and I have a secret. Well, it's not really a secret - this, my friends, is an internet date. Before you laugh and point and yell insulting phrases at me, my reasons for this experiment are as follows:

• It's a way to meet people - new city = meeting new people any way possible. My bookclub is filled with married women, so that's a negative!
  
• I've got nothing to lose - after my recent dating disaster where the guy had told his mother all about me before our first date and was planning my visit over the holidays and had probably named our kids, I figure this can't be worse.
  

So I went online last night, started chatting to J and ended up talking on the phone three times - once he called on the way to the gym, then on the way back and then after his shower. So that's a good time to tell if he's a complete weirdo. So far, no major red flags.

He said he'd call today and .... he did. Then he call to let me know that his errands were taking longer than planned and would I mind if we went for dinner instead of out this afternoon. I'm still okay with this - no baby naming red flags here.

His photo looks really pretty boy like which makes me a little wary - either it's not really him or he's a potential player. Or I'm just being judgemental and should slap myself.

Anyway, dinner it is and while I'm obviously not going to be all glam considering it's -10 degrees celcius and snowing like mad, I'll still look purdy.

Wish me luck and hopefully this won't be a disaster story!!

NEWSFLASH:

 

Thighs are meant to be bigger than calves. It's a balance thing. It's a genetic thing. It's a HUMAN thing. Girls, if your thighs are no bigger than your calves or arms, you're TOO FREAKING THIN. If your legs cannot meet at any point whatsoever, you're TOO FREAKING THIN.

 

Eat something. Please.

I know I've been MIA for ages.  Things have been good and busy and different and now I live in a different country, different hemisphere and different everything.

 

Life in Toronto is exciting and cold. I'm pushing myself to be everything I wanted to be before but was too scared to be or too stuck in a rut to do. I'm taking chances and leaping without looking. I'm swallowing my fears and just doing, trying not to think too much.

 

Doesn't that sound scary but exciting at the same time?

 

It's been 2 months since I waved my family goodbye at Melbourne airport and stepped through the gates to passport control. Seven weeks since I landed in Toronto to my new life. Six weeks since I started work and routine and life.

 

I am only seven weeks old really. A baby. Learning to take my first steps and learning that falling is not that scary. Sure, you get bruised and battered but you get up again and you learn.

 

And I'm definitely learning.